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Cupcake Apocalypse: Crumbs Bake Shop announced it will close all of its stores nationwide, including three in D.C., signaling a potential end to the cupcake craze. Which cupcake shop is next? +3

Big Whoops: Employees at the National Institute of Health stumbled across 16 vials of smallpox sitting in a laboratory room in Bethesda last week. There is no indication that anyone has been exposed to it, but still, smallpox!  -4

No Bad Joke Goes Unpunished: A man who jumped bail in New York was arrested after police spotted his picture in a student newspaper in Pennsylvania. Why was he in the paper? He was weighing in on the Washington football team controversy and suggested that the team keep its name and change its mascot to a potato. That original punchline was definitely worthy of arrest. +2

Hot Heat Heat: As expected, it is hot again today. That means early trash pickup, MARC train delays, and general unpleasant sweat. -2

Wednesday’s Needle rating: 64 Today’s score: -1 Today’s Needle rating: 63