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The Birds: This nightmarish headline says it all while leaving questions that are best left unanswered: “[Pigskins] Fan holds crow for reasons that remain completely unclear.” -3

Here We Go Again: The New York Times tackles covering D.C. as an actual city and not just the nation’s capital. The paper of record finds that the city has a booming restaurant scene in actual neighborhoods, and describes Adams Morgan as “once-dicey Adams Morgan.” -4

Craft Cocktails: D.C. experts weigh in on the term “craft cocktail” and don’t roll their eyes. -3 

Baberaham Lincoln: Lonely Planet ranks D.C. as the top tourist destination for 2015, thanks to the forthcoming 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln‘s assassination.  +2

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 48  Today’s score: -8 Today’s Needle rating: 40