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Adams Morgan Tryst coffeehouse has so much Midwestern charm that it can actually pass for a quaint, independent Kansas shop.

That is, of course, if you can believe the Onion—-a satirical news site that you shouldn’t actually believe.

The Onion published a list of the “6 Best Companies to Work For” and included a place called Grounds For Thought Café on the list. The accompanying photo for the imagined coffee shop? D.C.’s very own Tryst.

The description made it clear, however, that this establishment wasn’t physically in D.C., though it very much could have been. The reverence paid to the wi-fi network is quite apt.

At this independent café in Lawrence, KS, employees get to feel the unbelievable rush of power that comes with being the sole distributor of Wi-Fi passwords. While they typically earn no more than $10 an hour and do not receive comprehensive benefits, workers experience a thrilling adrenaline high dozens of times per day by serving as the all-powerful gatekeepers of the café’s “CoffeeBean” wireless network, unleashing an intoxicating flood of endorphins through their body every time they give a knowing half-smile and, in an ever so slightly lowered voice, bestow their godlike knowledge on another patron.

Thankfully, the good folks at the Onion did not Photoshop out the D.C. flag in front of Tryst in photo, allowing Tryst to stay true to its D.C. roots while in Kansas.

Photo by Daquella manera via Flickr/CC BY-SA 2.0