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The world awoke to the news that the Great Blizzard of 2015 had mostly spared New York City. Here in D.C., we didn’t really care, since anyone who likes snow here spent all of Monday grumbling about the fact that this storm was already forecast to miss us; the inch or so we got was exactly what local meteorologists said to expect.
But we do have some experience here with snow that doesn’t live up to hyped expectations, or with watching a storm soar past us to the northeast (which is what this one did—don’t try telling anyone in Boston there was no blizzard). After all, in December 2013, the federal government shut down for a snow flurry that dropped less than two inches on the District proper. So here’s what our experience has taught us to do in the face of wintry disappointment.
1) Ignore the haters. So you and your civic leaders panicked a bit about a forecast that turned out to miss, and now you’re sitting on a fridge full of perishables scavenged from your local grocery store in yesterday’s frenzy. But if the storm had done what the models said it could do, you’d be the only person on your block with an ample supply of kale. There’s no shame in being prepared, and now’s your opportunity to test out all 20 or so kale recipes on GOOP.
2) Enjoy the snow you have. For the last few winters, D.C.’s seen storms dump snow everywhere else on the Acela corridor except here. Embrace it! Go shovel the sidewalk, even if the sun will clear it for you on its own soon, and marvel at how quickly you got through a chore that you remember being back-breaking. (Must be all that kale!) Are there “Snow My God” drink specials at your neighborhood bar? Go partake of them, without any of the hassles involved in getting around after an actual blizzard. But don’t partake too heavily: You’ll have work tomorrow. There’s just not that much snow.
3) Learn some wintry humility. You may be tempted, the next time D.C. locks down in response to an overhyped weather report, to mock your Beltway-bound friends and relatives. But you didn’t see us laughing at Atlanta last February, because we knew there’d be some obnoxious New York transplant saying something stupid on Twitter the next time the government opened on a two-hour delay for sleet.
4) Wait ’til next time. Hope springs eternal among snow-lovers here, which is why even the post on the Washington Post‘s Capital Weather Gang that said this storm would be pretty minor got 1,000 comments. Just because you have absolutely no meteorological training doesn’t mean you, too, can’t obsess over long-range computer weather models. Start getting excited for the next storm now. And when that’s a bust, too, now you’ll be that much more familiar with the resulting feeling of loss. (It’s sort of like being a Knicks fan that way.)
5) Whatever you do, don’t shut down the subways. That would just be a complete overreaction. Wait. What? Oh.
Photo by Darrow Montgomery