City Paper is not for tourists
The District has a real-life hamburglar, and he allegedly struck the Columbia Heights Five Guys in March.
The Metropolitan Police Department says it’s searching for a suspect who “followed a delivery man” into a restaurant on the 1400 block of Irving Street NW between 3:10 a.m. and 5:05 a.m. on March 18—the Five Guys above the Columbia Heights Metro station, as made apparent by surveillance footage MPD released:
“He then rummaged through the establishment, cooked food, and stole bottled water before leaving the restaurant,” police said in a statement on Sunday. In the video, the fedora-clad male suspect seems to skulk around the Five Guys holding a beverage, ultimately grilling a couple of burgers while talking on the phone.
It is unclear from the video if the suspect ever ate the burgers. (Sad!) Police have classified the incident as Burglary II. According to the D.C. Code, this could result in somewhere between two and 15 years of prison.
The only thing scarier than a real hamburglar? A clown and a purple blob with googly eyes named Grimace.
Screenshot via MPD video