VH1 Crusty or VH1 Catatonic was replaying the 2007 Hip-Hop Honors last night, and only one image is burned into my brain: Busta Rhymes’ fat ol’ belly. Now, I’m not exactly lean. In fact, I’m only a few brownies or gyros away from having a similarly prodigious midsection. But I’m also not a rich rapper who has the resources to hire a professional trainer. So if you’re listening, Busta, please hit the elliptical machine more regularly, or I will continue to track your fatness with untold tenacity.

(I realize it’s been nearly two weeks since VH1 first aired the show, but the network isn’t exactly on-point all the time, either.)