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Local all-girl, grunge-punk quartet Turboslut performs for the first time tonight with Pizza and Shittagoddamn at 7 p.m. at the Bervin Haus, 929 Farragut Ave. NW. $5 gets you in the door. “The excitement and nausea are building,” the band says of it’s upcoming debut peformance on its Web site. “[B]e wary of the splatter zone and bring whatever you have to burn. [I]t’s going to be such a swell time.”

So, what exactly does the band sound like? Hell if I know. According to the site, Turboslut features members of Chugga Chugga, Haymarket, Worm Talk, Conglomo, Monsters, Flat Tummy, and Roblatz. So, if you recognize any of those names, you might have an idea of what to expect. Or not. In addition to concrete information, working MP3’s are something that Turboslut’s Web site doesn’t offer much of—-but it does have plenty of online testimonials:

– “Everything I do in life is somehow for TURBOSLUT, and everything I do in TURBOSLUT helps the rest of my life.”

– “TURBOSLUT is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.”

– “TURBOSLUT is as much intimacy as I can handle at this point in my meager existence. Thanks for being so nice to me, TURBOSLUT.”

Ain’t that some praise? I’ve also been told that they are “hot shit.” Be there tonight so that, years from now, you can say you saw them before they started headlining at the 9:30 Club.