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HO HO WHO: The voices of Adult Swim’s animated Aqua Teen Hunger Force try to position themselves as a depraved Alvin and the Chipmonks, with arch, left-field takes on Christmas classics—like “Jingle Bells Deep,” “’Twas the Night Before Jesus,” and “All I Want for Christmas is My One Front Tooth.”
THE CHRISTMAS HAM: As much as the Sleigher hates to see alt-country chanteuse Neko Case slum it with mutated junk food, he has to admit he loves “Santa Left a Booger in My Stocking,” her duet with Meatwad. For starters, it’s hilarious, as long as, like the Sleigher, you’re down with some mucus humor. (“He took his mitten off/and shoved his finger up the booger trough/and brought a gift down his nose chimney,” Meatwad sings in the second verse.) Also, it’s damn catchy: Case hard-sells lyrics like “you left Santa some snacks/three boogers and ear wax” with big, multitracked vocals set to a honeyed slide guitar and a rollicking beat.
THE EGGNOG HANGOVER: Aqua Teen’s Christmas album is rife with misfires, and the Sleigher isn’t sure which is the most unfunny. For now, he’ll go with “I Sure Hope I Don’t Have to Beat Your Ass this Christmas,” in which Master Shaketries to get down like Luther Vandross, and comes away like Rush Limbaugh lisping out blue-eyed soul. “I wish peace around the world for every boy and girl,” Shake sings. “But you I leave face down in Chinatown. Me so sorry.” Yeesh.
CHEER FACTOR: 6 out of 10, if you’re OK with a reimagined Nativity story in which baby Jesus “could probably shoot lasers from his diaper,” according to Shake. “I’m not saying it happened, but lo, I’m not saying it didn’t happen. But it probably happened.”