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Be still, my horrified heart. We perhaps all knew it was coming, but now it’s official: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences believes that Avatar was one of the best films of 2009. (Guess the “sciences” portion of the institution’s name means more than the “arts” this year.)

Very, very few surprises among the rest of the major categories, which are below for your listing pleasure. I’ll restrict my commentary to alarm, signified by “!”s:

BEST PICTURE

Avatar (!) Up in the Air The Hurt Locker District 9 A Serious Man The Blind Side (!) Up An Education Inglourious Basterds Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire BEST DIRECTOR

James Cameron, Avatar Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds Lee Daniels, Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire Jason Reitman, Up in the Air

BEST ACTOR

Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart George Clooney, Up in the Air Colin Firth, A Single Man” Morgan Freeman, Invictus Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

BEST ACTRESS

Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side Helen Mirren, The Last Station Carey Mulligan, An Education Gabourey Sidibe, Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Matt Damon, Invictus (!) Woody Harrelson, The Messenger Christopher Plummer, The Last Station Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Penélope Cruz, Nine (!!!) Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart (!) Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air Mo’Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire

BEST ANIMATED FILM

Coraline Fantastic Mr. Fox Up The Princess and the Frog The Secret of Kells (?)

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Burma VJ The Cove Food, Inc. The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers Which Way Home (?)

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Ajami El Secreto de Sus Ojos The Milk of Sorrow Un Prophète The White Ribbon

BEST SCREENPLAY, ORIGINAL The Hurt Locker Inglourious Basterds The Messenger* A Serious Man Up

BEST SCREENPLAY, ADAPTED

District 9 An Education In the Loop* Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire Up in the Air

*Denotes the only no-one-saw-that-comings of the lot

For the full list, go to Oscar.com.