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No one from D.C. made it onto Sarah Jessica Parker‘s Play-Doh/Crayola crafts hour Work of Art (debuting tonight at 11 on Bravo) and that is probably for the best. The show is as likely to produce America’s Next Great Artist as Bravo’s Real Housewives series is likely to produce America’s Next Great Example of Good Parenting and Generally Being a Decent Human Being. Nevertheless! If you tune in and need someone to cheer for in this display of ego-meets-egg tempera, here are four artists with extremely tenuous ties to the mid-Atlantic region:

Jaclyn Santos: This young painter whose work deals in “themes of sexuality and spirituality” graduated from MICA in Baltimore in 2007 with a BFA in painting. In 2003, she interned in D.C. for the National Endowment for the Humanities. After graduation, she headed off to New York to work for fellow MICA grad Jeff Koons as an assistant. She is also the prettiest, skinniest contestant on the show, which, if reality-competition stereotypes hold true, means she will probably be among the first to have a total meltdown. Check out her work here.

John Parot: An artist who works in many mediums and is an advocate for the gay art community (and therefore, cast as the token gay), John Parot earned his MFA from MICA in 1998. His accomplishments include a solo show at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago. You can see his work here.

Peregrine Honig: Among the most established of the artists accepted on the show, Peregrine Honig has work in several museum collections, from the Whitney to the Chicago Art Institute to our very own National Museum of Women in the Arts. Check out Peregrine’s work here.

Abdi Farah: Abdi Farah exhibited his work at the Corcoran in 2003 for their Scholastics Art and Writing Awards Competition. He’s also shown at the Carver Center for Arts and Technology in Towson, Md., and at the National Museum for Women in the Arts as a United States Presidential Scholar in the Arts. And he’s got a funny shout-out to space explorer Barack Obama on his website.