There’s still time to nominate local icons for Best of D.C.
Best-of-the-year lists are built around the fallacy that the “year” still matters. YEARS ARE FOR OLD FARTS WHO LACK THE TECHNOLOGY TO TRACK THINGS MINUTE-BY-MINUTE ON TWITTER. I’ll tell you this right now: I do not wish to see your Best Albums of 2010 list, because I know you will have spent lots of time on it, and thus you will be self-conscious about your decisions. It will be boring. And, really, I don’t want to be told in December about the obscure-but-shitkicking mixtape that you heard 12 months ago but forgot to write about back then. You are a total slacker, and your concentrating oh-so-hard on a little list during Christmas vacation cannot hide this fact. Trust me, I’ve done it, and I am ashamed.
But your Best Albums of 2010 So Far? Hellz yeah, I’ll read that, because I know you probably had fun writing it. How can I be assured of its fun-ness? Because there’s nothing at stake for you. If you dork-out and overrate something, nobody’s gonna call you on it in December. YOU ARE FREE TO BE YOU. You can be complicated and interesting or no-nonsense or kinda charming.
You can create a bunch of categories. You can limit the task to people who have the word “Editor” in their titles. Or, similarly, you can let a rabid pack of psychopaths choose the list for you. And if you’re a jerk, you can require your readers to click on a gajillion fucking links.
Anyway, yay! It’s possible that I actually read one or two of those lists, maybe even the one by the guy who has “Web Editor” in his title. A lot of people like that Flying Lotus album! I am supposed to like Big K.R.I.T.!
In summation, if you believe in what I have said to you in this blog post, consider these options:
1. Next year, only do a Best Albums of 2011 So Far. It does not matter when you do it: March, July, whatever. Do not do a Best Albums of 2011.
2. Base your “Best Whatever of Whatever” on the federal fiscal year. Or create your own fiscal year. Labor Day to Labor Day? Yeah, that would probably work. If you write about metal, base it on some sort of pagan calendar. Call it the Equinox II Equinox List. BETTER YET: Name your band Equinox II Equinox and only perform awesome songs from the previous 12 months.
3. Post your Best Albums of the Year So Far list in the Comments section below, because we probably won’t delete it or make fun of it. I’m not making any promises, though.