We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.
The city provides us with stories, but not all of them involve sharks and shooters. People make stuff and say stuff and write stuff, and sometimes we wholeheartedly reply “far out!” or “hot dang!” Sometimes it’s more of a retort than a reply, but whatever. Still confused, young’in? The dossier is as easy as one, two, three: