The Sleigher: Des Ark's "Which One Of You Assholes Ate Christmas!!!"

The Sleigher: Des Ark’s “Which One Of You Assholes Ate Christmas!!!”

by Ryan Little December 21st, 2010October 12th, 2020

HO HO WHO: Des Ark has been plugging away at rock songs and folk songs for years, once via Richmond and now via Philadelphia. The band has been a trio, a duo, and—as in this case—a solo affair. Though it’s had relatively few official releases, Des Ark has been involved with local labels from Exotic Fever to Lovitt.

CHOCOLATE REINDEER FOR EVERYONE: On this one, Aimee Argote’s voice is as soft and soothing as a warm cup of cocoa on a winter’s day. The folky, fingerpicked ballad bleeds nostalgia with its confessional storytelling, and Argote’s sincerity envelops you like a holiday-themed slanket (which The Sleigher would gladly accept as a gift if anyone is curious).

STALE HALF-EATEN SANTAS FOR ME: Sure, the song was inspired by someone eating the much-anticipated Christmas candy in her Advent calendar (on December 3, no less), but it’s awfully hard to connect this song to December 25. A subtle mention of tinsel, a vague description of snow, even a toss-off line about white beards would’ve been appreciated. Sad songs are great, but The Sleigher likes to know they are definitely about Christmas (or Hanukkah).

CHEER FACTOR: 6/10 Great melancholic tune but definitely Christmas-related in theory more than in practice.

Don't rely on an algorithm to get you the news you need.

Hi, you've read five articles this month! Will you consider signing up for our newsletter?

Hi, you've read 10 articles this month! If you value City Paper, will you support it? A contribution of any amount helps keep City Paper free and keeps us publishing.

Sign up for our free newsletter