At least that’s what people in Chicago are calling the transnational snowstorm currently wreaking havoc across two dozen states, Kriston Capps noted last night, proving that there are in fact more creative blizzard nicknames than the stupid Snowpocalypse crap that us East Coasters keep recycling. Seriously, check a New York-based friend’s Facebook page; they’ve got more Snopocalypses than Rocky films.

Digital agoraphobes have a new way to enjoy museums thanks to the Google, WaPo‘s Philip Kennicott reports today. The Google Art Project offers virtual walkthroughs of 17 international art museums—including the Freer Gallery—with some works being so intensely photographed that “individual paint strokes and hairline cracks in the surface will be visible.” The Freer submitted Whistler’s “The Princess From the Land of Porcelain” for the process, though Kennicott notes that the site is a little buggy right now.

At the RealScreen Summit, a convention for documentary and reality television producers, TBD’s Ryan Kearney found out yesterday that once upon a time, Mark Burnett, the creator of things like Survivor and the cultural resurrection of Donald Trump, could have been your nanny. Mayor Vincent Gray was there too and even pitched a show, saying D.C.’s plight as “the last colony in the nation” is worth a voyeuristic series. [Author’s note: Real World, Housewives, Cupcakes, Top Chef, K Street. See M. Riggs, Aug. 2010]

No one knows what’s going on with HR-57. No news might be good news, Michael J. West considers. Then again, if our city government weren’t so focused on landing another reality show, the jazz club might clear the bureaucratic red tape necessary to move into its new H Street home.

Tavis Smiley‘s traveling exhibit of 500 years of black history—”the biggest, baddest, boldest exhibit ever” on the topic—is now at the National Geographic Society. Sarah Godfrey remarks the collection includes shackles from the slave trade, pieces of the Birmingham, Ala. jail Martin Luther King Jr. from where wrote his famous letter, and one of Prince‘s guitars.

If you’re a Steelers fan in need of a new anthem after listening to “Black and Gold” on repeat for the past month, Wiz Khalifa has a new song out. Click Track calls “Roll Up” a hit in the making and perhaps the young rapper’s first song not about weed. Well, not entirely. Listen here.

And that miniseries about the Kennedys staring Greg Kinnear and Mrs. Cruise found a home on a channel we’ve never heard of.

Get out there and win the day before Fake Jim VandeHei snatches it from you!