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This video, apparently produced by Scott Freiman to celebrate his son Zachary‘s bar mitzvah, has it all—vuvuzelas, random shots of Oprah Winfrey, a soundtrack that’s just catchy enough to get stuck in your head and just awful enough to make you want to die afterwards.

“I was born 13 years ago in Washington, D.C.,” Zach sings. “My mother and my father explained the world to me.”

Freiman used to work at CMSI, a Columbia, Md.-based firm, but later relocated to the New York suburbs. Still, wealthy D.C.-area parents of 13-year-old Jews, consider yourself warned: The bar for embarrassing your children on the occasion of their bar mitzvah just got higher.