Dog Shit? What a Clue! Why Didn’t I Think of That?: The Post Style section goes below-the-fold with the gripping story of a D.C. Lottery commercial that’s been, shall we say, making people hold their noses while thinking about buying a scratch-off. The ad, which started running during the opening rounds of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament last week, features a woman rushing off to work only to land her open-toed shoe in a ripe pile of “that most feared of urban sidewalk hazards: doggie doo.” The ad’s solution? Lottery tickets! No need to change your shoes or chew out your neighbors for neglecting to clean up after their incontinent pets, just scratch and win! Richard Coad, the creative director of the firm behind the ad, says the message is that when something goes wrong, “let’s say your car is boxed in or your fly is down all day,” the solution is always something fun like dropping a few bucks on a strip of paper. (Well, sometimes…) And D.C. Lottery chief Buddy Roogow has decreed that the commercial no longer air “while kids might be watching.” Because dog shit is a very adult matter, of course.

What She Learned in Texas: DCist music editor Valerie Paschall is back from South by Southwest, which means she’ll finally let up with the “Hey, did you know I’m Austin?” tweets. She’s also got a rundown of what worked, what failed, and just how difficult Kanye West made it to attend his show. Winners include Glasser, who “looked like the second coming of Björk” but had the “bell-clear voice of Regine Chassagne,” Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (OFWGKTA), Deerhunter (“Bradford Cox just appears to be having more fun onstage these days”), and apparently every act that came from D.C. Cults, a super-cute Swedish outfit, was “vomit-inducingly cutesy” and a poor substitute for The Strokes. (Though didn’t I hear their show was mayhem? Also, Angles sucks.)

They Call Me Snakebite: Do you enjoy working with animals in an outdoor environment with lots of visitors? Apply for a position with National Zoo! Benefits include working outside, caring for a diverse population of animals, and the occasional snake attack. A snake handler—yes, actual position—at the zoo went to the hospital yesterday after a cottonmouth, or pit viper, after the snake “bit its own tail, causing it to release a combination of venom, urine and feces,” a nasty brew that landed in the handler’s eye.

Yesterday on Arts Desk: Kiviat on Maximum India’s lack of Indian approval. Schweitzer on the newest Temporium, opening in time for the cherry-blossom tourists. Edie Sedgwick made a tape of children’s music.