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Dept. of “Water-Cooler Tomfoolery”: City Paper art critics Kriston Capps, Jeffry Cudlin, and John Anderson are the greatest threats to fine art out there! At least that was the reaction of Los Angeles Times crank Christopher Knight to their satirical—satirical, Mr. Knight—post in response to the assault last week on Paul Gauguin‘s “Two Tahitian Women” at the National Gallery of Art. Our critics joked about which works in the NGA collection they’d rather see tarnished based on their personal distaste for them, not that they’re going to actually act on their choices which, in Knight’s estimation, will reinvigorate the “shiver that ran down the spines of every museum curator around the globe when the Gauguin story first appeared.” Because nothing’s scarier than three alt-weekly art critics.

3 Feet High and Archived: Before it (probably) closes this weekend when the government (probably) shuts down, the Library of Congress announced its annual selection of 25 recordings deemed “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” enough to preserve. Among this year’s crop are De La Soul’s 3 Feet High and Rising, Tammy Wynette’s “Stand By Your Man,” and Captain Beefheart’s Trout Mask Replica. There’s old-timey stuff too, including the original 1908 recording of Edward Meeker’s “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.” Final selections are at the discretion of the library, Chris Richards writes, but nominations are open to the public, which partly explains how De La and Beefheart are being inducted alongside “a series of how-to-run-a-campaign primers” recorded by Republican Party operatives between 1986 and 1994.

Rosslyn, the Final Frontier: On Saturday, just in time for the 50th anniversary of human spaceflight, the Artisphere is hosting Yuri’s Night, an annual celebration of extraterrestrial exploration, but done in far less clothing than a spacesuit. Yuri’s Night producer Jared Davis tells TBD’s Andrew Beaujon thathe “feel[s] that space has a sexiness to it.” So the Artisphere will be feting outer space with surf music, drink-serving robots, and a burlesque show, the plot of which Davis described as “Star Trek meets Love Boat.” Make it so.

Today on Arts Desk: Adrian Fenty enthusiasts Ron Moten and Big Wax recorded a video for their song bashing Mayor Vincent Gray. We’ll dissect.