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Your next seven days should be filled with laughter. The following could help.
Friday, April 15: Cool Dudes Hanging Out at Velvet Lounge Wunderkind Brandon Wardell and pop culture maven Hillary Buckholtz produce this monthly stand-up show. This Friday they’re bringing Mike Lawrence, fresh off his “John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show” appearance. Also appearing are Mike Recine, Jason Weems, Keith Irvin, and Dan and Alex from “Chucklestorm” in Baltimore. The Velvet Lounge is an almost perfect venue for alternative stand-up and I’m sure all of the performers on this bill hate getting billed as alternative stand-up. On the plus side, I’m sure all of them love that there’s no two-drink minimum. 7 p.m. $5.
Saturday, April 16: Patrice O’Neal at DC Improv The very blue, very funny veteran is making his mandatory D.C. stop this weekend. His newest special, “Elephant in the Room” is his best yet. If you’re worried about hearing recycled material, don’t. Each time I’ve seen O’Neal perform, he’s done at least 20 minutes of new stuff. For fans of Louis C.K., Chris Rock, and anything that’s funny, Patrice O’Neal performances are always worth attending, even with the two drink minimum. 8 and 10:30 p.m., $25 and two-purchase minimum. Also performing April 15 and 17.
Sunday, April 17: “Hahaha” at the Freer & Sackler Gallery I have not seen this Cannes Film Festival award-winning film from director Hong Sang-soo. I have seen a two-minute clip. It features a man pleading with the father of the girl he loves. The man doing the pleading is drunk. He mentions being like a lost puppy. The father is holding a puppy. The scene ends with a very odd zoom into the pleading man’s face. Hilarious! 2 p.m. Free.
Monday, April 18: RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing party at Radius Restaurant Not so much funny as fun: Any red-blooded American with somewhat decent taste who has a decent Internet connection or can find Logo on their television is watching Drag Race. With only three contestants to go, the show is reaching new levels of drama. This is the perfect time to catch up if you aren’t watching. There is no new show this week. Instead, we get “RuPaul’s Rewind,” a sort of Best-Of show for season 3.
Tuesday, April 19: Charlie Sheen at DAR Constitution Hall This will not be funny. It will be super sad and hopefully make you question ever spending money on ironic things. So why is this recommended? You’ll want to be able to say, “I was there when a rich kid was being rich in one of the most beautiful concert halls in all of America!” to future generations of confused people that won’t understand why Charlie Sheen was able to fill seats. 8 p.m., $60.70-$104.50.
Wednesday, April 20: Stay in. It’s 4/20. Doug Benson is not in town and none of the local theaters are showing Cheech and Chong flicks (wasted opportunity). Unless you really like second-hand pot smoke, you are not going to have a fun time in the outside world.
Thursday, April 21: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind at Woolly Mammoth The venerable sketch comedy/performance artists the Neo-Futurists will be in town for a few weeks performing their hit Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind. The group stages 30 plays in 60 minutes and lets the audience decide the order, ensuring each night will feature something new. This may be the safest game in town for comedy fans with parents in town. 8 p.m., $35-$45. Runs until May 1.