Your next seven days should be filled with laughter. The following could help.
Friday, May 13: Anti-Social Network at DAR Constitution Hall
Stand-up vets Dave Attell, Jim Breuer, Bill Burr, and host Jim Norton make up this gimmicky named show. Local comic-done-good Seaton Smith opens. I’m already a fan of 80 percent of this lineup. The odd duck is Breuer. I haven’t heard anything particularly deep from Goat Boy, but since Norton curated this bill, there has to be a good reason he’s here. If Breuer is the only thing keeping you away from DAR, reconsider. Attell is brilliant (listen to his WTF episode for proof), Burr is refreshingly angry, Norton is brutally honest, and Smith is the future of the art form. Seeing these guys in a large theater may produce some great moments. Watch the Bill Burr clip above for proof that bigger may be better. (Warning: Incredibly NSFW.) 8 p.m., $60.70-82.25, all ages.
Saturday, May 14: Nerd Nite at DC9
A mix between storytelling and TED Talks, Nerd Nite appears to be really interesting and quirky or painfully boring. This night’s installment includes nerds talking about dinosaur paleontology, the microscope, and Paraguayan myths, legends, and stories. If you’re at all interested in these things, boy, you really lucked out. If you’re not, maybe you’ll be happy to see people discuss what they’re passionate about. 7:30 p.m., $10, 21+.
Sunday, May 15: D.C. Taco Experiment at Rock & Roll Hotel
I’m not sure if this is a fun, carefree, “everybody let’s be friends” type of afternoon or a knock-down, drag-out, “I’m going to murder anyone that tampers with my ingredients” type of cook-off, but either way, tacos! Tacos are fun! Hooray tacos! If you’re not excited as I am for delicious meat, cheese, assorted vegetables, and tomatoes in a hard shell, well, we are not friends. Even so, you should still consider stopping by. A portion of the proceeds goes to the Capital Area Food Bank. Noon-4 p.m., $10 in advance, $15 day of, all ages.
Tuesday, May 17: Live from the Lab at DC9
This show launched last month and it did not suck. This installment brings back super funny lady Erin Ryan, nostalgia queen Hillary Buckholtz, and up-and-coming New York comic Eli Sairs. With at least seven other acts on the bill (the lineup is ever-evolving and growing), you’ll probably end up with at least one new favorite comic. If you don’t, DC9 has a pretty cool roof deck and nothing screams alt-comedy like roof decks. 8:30 p.m., $5, 21+.
Wednesday, May 18: Doug Benson and Graham Elwood at Arlington Cinema N Draft House
We all know that Doug loves movies and is a fan of interrupting (what an awful introduction), but did you know he’s a pretty prolific stand-up comic? The man records an album every year on April 20 and they don’t sound nearly as high as you’d think. If you’ve ever complained about stoners being slow, Mr. Benson might be the exception to the rule. Laser-sharp wit and a encyclopedic knowledge of film give him an arsenal most stand-ups dream of. 7:30 p.m., $20, 21+.