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I am not nerdy enough to own this.

Every once in a while, City Paper is called on to defend its nerd honor. It happened last year at St. Ex. But tonight is a battle royale: Nerdy dude John Foster has assembled seven other nerdy dudes (and dudette!) to compete in what he’s calling the DJ Battle to the Death. Serious!

I’ll be on hand, swapping deep cuts with fine folks like Aaron Leitko (WaPo/Pitchfork), Jon Meyers (The Vinyl District), Rick Taylor (of DJ night We Fought the Big One), Patrick Kigongo (of various cool local bands), man-about-town Andrew Bucket, Comet Ping Pong booker Sasha Lord, and Foster himself. We’ll be competing Jamaican soundclash-style, trying to one-up each other with the snobbiest selections possible. It shouldn’t take long before this thing escalates to the realm of Krautrock subgenres and long lost Van Dyke Parks demos.

I’ve got nothing but admiration for my competitors, and it’s all for fun. Still, I have every intention of mopping the floor with them—-if not by virtue of my record collection, then via trash talk. It takes place tonight from 8 p.m. to midnight at vitaminwater uncapped LIVE (about which I feel this way), 2213-2217 14th St. NW. Free. More info here.