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in which the author discusses five books he’d read, if time permitted.

1. Go Fish: How to Win Contempt and Influence People, by Mr. Fish.
A pseudonymous political cartoonist offers wild and witty illustrated observations about life on Spaceship Earth in the post-9/11, post-millenial, post-economic crisis, post-Bush, post-Potter, post-Winehouse Obama age. Kind of like that famous Benjamin Franklin drawing “Join or Die.”

2. My Two Worlds, by Sergio Chejfec, translated by Margaret B. Carson.
Obscure Argentine writes acclaimed short (102 pages) postmodern novel that takes three years to arrive in English translation on U.S. shores featuring an existential anonymous protagonist. Soon to be a feature film starring Ricky Martin.

3. Just One Catch: A Biography of Joseph Heller, by Tracy Daugherty.
One of two recent Joseph Heller memoirs written by Joseph Heller’s daughters. That is, Joseph Heller had two daughers, and each wrote a memoir. No, wait—-this book isn’t a memoir, but a biography of Joseph Heller. It’s the other book that is the memoir. Wait…sh*t, it turns out that “Tracy Daugherty” isn’t Heller’s daughter at all. She’s just a biographer. Remember: The root word of “misinformation” is “information.”

4. My Seizure Dog, by Evan Moss.
I’m always ready to offer a shout-out to my epileptic brethren, even when they’re featured in vaguely depressing children’s books about seizure dogs. Keep the faith, and keeping taking your meds! I missed a dose myself last night and it wasn’t pretty.

5. Inside Scientology: The Story of America’s Most Secretive Religion, by Janet Reitman.
Most of this material was covered in a South Park episode, and the rest was in that awesome New Yorker story. Still, I’m always ready to learn a little bit more about Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and any operating Thetans among us.