We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Joel Osteen Has a Traffic Delay: TBD.com’s Jenny Rogers spent Monday tailing Joel Osteen, the charismatic megachurch pastor from Texas, who was in town for a book signing (The Purpose-Driven Something-or-Other) and to scout Nationals Ballpark for a prayer rally to be held next April. Osteen’s cadre of handlers were supposed to give Rogers a few minutes of face time at the stadium, instead they kept pushing it back until the very end. Rogers’ tick-tock of the day is delightful:

  • 4:56: A member of Osteen’s staff apologizes profusely but tells me that because of the delay, we’re going to have to push my time with Osteen back to a few minutes at tonight’s book signing. He is gravely upset about this. ‘Time is more valuable than money,’ he says. ‘And it seems we’ve wasted yours.’
  • 7:15: A baffled shopper surveys the crowd while talking on her cell phone. ‘Yeah,’ she says into the phone. ‘Some guy. Olsteen?'”

WaPo vs. Coldplay: Those weepy bastards have a new album out, so why not recap the long history of insults and barbs thrown at Coldplay over the years, David Malitz writes on Click Track. Some are a bit dated but still applicable, namely Jon Pareles‘ 2005 “Case Against Coldplay” in The New York Times and a particularly trenchant WaPo concert review by J. Freedom DuLac, but some are fresh like New Yorker pop critic Sasha Frere-Jones saying of lead crybaby Chris Martin that “nobody in popular music is more annoying to watch.”

I’d Prefer a Savory Snack: This Saturday, buy a cupcake from Sprinkles Cupcakes in Georgetown and make a donation to Americans for the Arts, Pink Line Project hypes. It’s a worthy cause, though it doesn’t satisfy our gustatory preferences as much as, say, moombahton and bacon.

Yesterday on Arts Desk: Psychotronic lives! Edie Sedgwick in Slovakia. Afro-Blue forges ahead on The Sing-Off. How to turn your Washington career into Hollywood magic