We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Forgive us, but Drinkify is kind of addictive. You type in a band name, and then, using its algorithm, the site suggests an appropriate libation with which to enjoy your tunes. Some are hilarious—and some don’t quite feel accurate. For example, type in “Black Tambourine”—-that’d be the influential early ’90s noise-pop group—-and Drinkify tells you to drink a PBR. Former Black Tambourine member (and City Paper staffer) Brian Nelson disagrees! He writes:

If they’re trying to indicate we’re blue collar they’re obviously not paying attention. Clearly from this photograph we don’t wear collared shirts. Some of us don’t wear shirts at all. (Did they sell PBR in stubby’s twenty years ago?)

Anyway, we typed in a few local artists to discover their Drinkify-recommended beverages. Serve blog post over ice with slice of lime.

Stinky Dink

Drinkify say: 1 bottle Honey Vodka. Serve on rocks. Stir slowly. Garnish with national flag.

We say: Remove flag until statehood.

The Sweater Set

Drinkify says: 10 oz. Kaoliang. Serve on rocks. Garnish with fresh berries.

We say: Artisanal earl grey.


Drinkify says: 10 oz. Canadian Club Whiskey. Serve on rocks. Stir quickly. Garnish with maraschino cherry.

We say: Ditch the cherry.

Black Eyes

Drinkify says: 8 oz. Ecstasy. Serve on rocks. Stir quickly. Garnish with celery stalk.

We say: Imagine that, listen to this, and realize that the combination is a terrible idea.

Raheem DeVaughn

Drinkify says: 6 oz. Hennessy. Serve neat. Stir quickly.

We say: Sadly boilerplate, but it works.


Drinkify says: 1 oz. Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey. Serve on rocks. Stir quickly. Garnish with fresh berries.

We say: For beer, Victory Hop Devil.


Drinkify says: 1 bottle Gin. Serve neat. Stir vigorously.

We say: Why is this the same as Thievery Corporation’s drink?

Marginal Man

Drinkify says: 1 bottle Red table wine. Serve at room temperature. Garnish with pickled asparagus.

We say: Gross enough to be punk rock.

Nation of Ulysses

Drinkify says: 1 bottle Red table wine. Serve at room temperature.

We say: Asparagus, apparently, is the pickled vegetable of the bourgeoisie.

Minor Threat

Drinkify says: 8 oz. Woodford Reserve Bourbon, 8 oz. Tomato juice, 12 oz. Monster Energy Drink. Combine in highball glass and serve. Stir vigorously.

We say: We can haz straight edge?

Mojito via Flickr user TheCulinaryGeek, Creative Commons