We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Simon Doonan’s latest book, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat, is clearly not interested in truth. Like his 2008 lifestyle book, Eccentric Glamour, it purveys a type of fabu-wisdom—a twinkly, floral-printed, and meticulously cataloged understanding of the world, where gay men are French women with penises (his words), straight men are burpy and totally yuck, and even food is either homo or hetero (Italian entrees, straight; Italian desserts, gay). Then again, when he sports his life-coach hat, the former creative director at Barneys New York takes liberties. “I believe in hyperbole, I believe in exaggeration,” he says in a recent interview. “Only an idiot would read [Gay Men Don’t Get Fat] thinking they were getting Wikipedia or something.” (Indeed, there is only one proper way to read Doonanisms like “it needs to be emphasized that prostitution is horribly drafty.”) But without his straight-faced, British-accented delivery, this guide to living fabulously comes across shrill and monotonous, like a campy drag show that careens on far too long. (One of his few earnest moments—a handful of paragraphs describing his time decorating the White House for Christmas in 2009—is preceded by a warning.) It seems that Doonan, a small man himself, is best enjoyed as an hors d’oeuvre: Click through his witty Slate columns, where no topic is too inconsequential to riff on, or track down some of his worthy contributions to Vh1’s “I Love the” series. Even better, see him in the flesh at his book signing at the W Hotel, where he’ll be free to make his obscure art references without footnotes, and his trashy one-liners are bound to smell a lot more like flowers. 7 p.m. at the W Hotel Rooftop Altitude Ballroom. Free. RSVP at whappenings@brandlinkdcrsvp.com.


HR-57 is hosting a memorial jam for Jimmy “Junebug” Jackson, the venue’s admired house drummer who passed away last weekend at the age of 55. Because Jackson’s funeral is taking place in Atlanta, club owner Tony Puesan planned the memorial for local folks who wish to pay their respects. The event begins at 8 p.m. Free for musicians; $8 for others.

Heartbroken? Unlucky in love? Maracuyeah D.C. is with you: Tonight at Cafe Saint-Ex, the posse is spinning the saddest cumbia, ranchera, moombachera, salsa, and everything-else songs. Noche de Despecho begins at 9 p.m. and goes allll night. (Well, until 2 a.m.) Free.


Multidisciplinary artist William Pope.L—-famous for his eRacism crawl series, in which, among other feats, he crawled 22 miles up Broadway in New York while wearing a Superman costume—-gives a talk at the Corcoran tonight, where he’ll discuss his career and the ideas in “30 Americans.”

Doonan image by Roxanne Lowitt.