Marvelous Market, ready your fromage selection: It’s almost time for Screen on the Green. As every local blog within a 25-mile radius reported yesterday, this year’s schedule—-packed with the usual classics—-has been announced. But which justifies the Capital Bikeshare jaunt downtown? And most critical, how many brie wheels should you pack? A handy guide, below.

Monday, July 16: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

I mean, come on. Vintage hotties Robert Redford and Paul Newman are no Justin Bieber or One Direction, but if for some reason haven’t seen this 1969 film about the duo of handsome bandits, leave the tweens at home and pack a big Tupperware pitcher of something brown. 4 out of 5 brie wheels.

Wednesday, July 25: It Happened One Night

Scandal struck the 1930s! A woman (Claudette Colbert) and a man (Clark Gable) who are not married to each other shared a hotel room on screen. Dun, dun, dun. Fortunately there was a sheet between them to avoid any contact whatsoever. 3.5 out of 5 brie wheels.

Monday, July 30: From Here to Eternity

From a kiss on the beach to almost-but-not-quite sex scenes, this 1950s film was one of the first explicitly raunchy movies. The wonderfully suggestive plot line—-the captain’s wife falls for the second in command—-reveals the origin of many modern love stories. 4.5 out of 5 brie wheels.

Monday, Aug. 6: Psycho

A secretary screws over her boss, stays at a hotel, and is screwed over by its owner. Add blood, screaming, mystery, etc. Loosely based on the crimes of a murderer and grave robber, Psycho is definitive Hitchcock, and even creepier than an average Law & Order: SVU. 3 out of 5 brie wheels.

This post has been updated to reflect that Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert did not share a bed in It Happened One Night; they shared a hotel room and slept in different beds separated by a sheet.