Neil Hamburger has made a career of the non-joke. A kindred spirit of legendary lounge act Tony Clifton, Hamburger revels in the dark, laughless shadows of comedy, a place where incest gags and poor delivery reign supreme. With a stiff drink in one hand and a microphone in the other, the famously phlegmy showman regurgitates tasteless one-liners that leave stains on the walls and a foul taste in the audience’s mouth. Like the company that he keeps—Hamburger has collaborated with Tom Green and duo Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim—no line is too sacred to cross. And yet over the past 20 years, Hamburger has cultivated a sizable following willing to endure his ersatz punch lines and desperate ramblings in order to find masochistic pleasure in discomfort. He’s in town promoting a recently recorded 12-inch released on Jack White’s Third Man Records, proving once again that the unfunniest man in show business may indeed have the last laugh. Neil Hamburger performs with Duncan Trussell at 8 p.m. at the Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. $12. (202) 667-7960. (Matt Siblo)

FREE MUSIC

Tell that chance of thunderstorms to shove it, ’cause the Fort Reno summer concert series begins tonight. You know the drill: Bring your nonalcoholic beverages (no glass bottles), snacks, dogs (on a leash), babies (on a leash—-OK, just kidding), and blankets to the upper Northwest park, park your butt, and enjoy a couple of hours of local rock music. Teen Mom, Alarms & Controls, and Upforth perform beginning at 7 p.m. Unless it rains. Chesapeake Street and Nebraska Avenue NW. Free.

The sixth annual Del Ray Music Week also kicks off tonight with a handful of shows at various cute businesses around the Alexandria neighborhood. All shows are free. Check out a map and schedule on the festival’s official website.

CONFERENCES

Hey, liberals looking for a one-night stand: You’re in luck. Today’s the first day of the Take Back the American Dream conference at the Washington Hilton Hotel. Progressives from cities near and far are swarming Dupont Circle to network and do whatever it is people do when they’re listening to Paul Krugman. What does that mean for you? Drunk groping with a Mother Jones contributor. Grab a barstool at Russia House ASAP.

SILVERDOCS

Silverdocs! Silverdocs! Silverdocs! The documentary festival opens tonight with Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey, the story of Journey‘s (awesome) replacement singer Arnel Pineda. Read our review (in short: We liked it) and peruse other reviews in City Paper‘s massive Silverdocs spread. The film shows at 7 p.m. at 8633 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. Buy tickets here.

EAT THIS

Pizzeria Paradiso Georgetown celebrates the St. Bernardus Brewery tonight with half a dozen beers from the Belgian monastery brewery on draft. A rep from the brewery will be on hand to introduce to the American market a new beer called Tokyo, a cloudy wheat ale brewed in honor of a new pub the brewery is opening in Japan’s capital city. The beers can be ordered individually or paired with a $30 prix fixe menu with salad and choice of pizza specials (including one with roasted apricots, red onion, gruyere, gorgonzola, and micro tatsoi). Pizzeria Paradiso, 3282 M St. NW; 202-337-1245; eatyourpizza.com. (Jessica Sidman)

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