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It’s a holiday miracle: Tickets to the campiest Christmas celebration around are still available. For the past decade, John Waters has been bringing his tales of yuletide cheer to theaters around the nation and tonight, he makes his annual stop at the Birchmere. Thoughts on the eroticism of Santa flow as freely as eggnog at a party, so leave your timid friends behind and prepare to laugh while Waters regales the audience with stories of his favorite perverted gifts to give and receive.  “A John Waters Christmas” begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Birchmere, 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. $49.50. (703) 549-7500. birchmere.com.


Dolcezza debuts three limited-time holiday gelato flavors today: ginger cardamom pistachio, eggnog, and King Leo peppermint. The ginger cardamom pistachio is made with ginger grown by Potomac Vegetable Farm Purceville, Va., with a hint of cardamom and roasted pistachios mixed in. The eggnog is made with eggs from Creekside Farm in West Virginia, Wild Turkey bourbon, and freshly grated nutmeg with hints of cognac. Lastly, the King Leo peppermint gelato consists of dark chocolate with a pieces of King Leo soft peppermint folded in. The flavors will be available at Dolcezza’s locations in Georgetown, Dupont Circle, and Bethesda until Dec. 31. A small is $5 and a large is $6.25. The Georgetown location will also sell the gelato by the gallon for $60-$65, depending on the flavor. Dolcezza, dolcezzagelato.com. (Jessica Sidman)


Charles Molesworth discusses his new book, And Bid Him Sing, a biography of the poet Countee Cullen. More information available on Busboys’ website. 6:30 p.m. at Busboys and Poets, 1025 5th St. NW. Free.

It’s about to get loud: Hardcore acts TeamsterNever SubmitThe Pharmacists, and Throwback take the stage at DC9 tonight. 8:30 p.m. at DC9, 1940 9th St. NW. $10.

Singer-songwriter Joe Rathbone and his new group, The Mercy Alliance, bring their soft-rock jams to Arlington’s Galaxy Heart tonight. Even if the sunny strumming isn’t your thing, stop by to try Galaxy Hut’s newly meatless menu. There’s never a wrong time for tater tots. 8:30 p.m. at Galaxy Hut, 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington.  Free.

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