For those of you who are waiting for Ian MacKaye to join Twitter, it’s never going to happen. But at least you can follow ~*iAn_mAckaYe*~ , a not quite official account re-imagining our revered punk statesman as a 13-year-old girl. Inside jokes for harDCore fans abound, along the lines of @JadedPunkHulk, only less angry and more preoccupied with uggos, bad hair, and pestering Henry Rollins for re-tweets (so far without luck). Here are Washington City Paper‘s 10 favorite tweets:
oh u want 2 intervieww fugazi?? does ur magazine hav beer ads? oh it does? BYEEE! #dontthinkso
dont buy teh new evenz album from amizon . there a souless corpirashun , even tho there delivery is soooo much quicker then dischord — ~*iAn_mAckaYe*~ (@oWtuvStEp143) November 18, 2012
omg i literaly JUSTT instaled a new basket ball hoop n guy came over n hung upsidedown on it n it broke !!! smh #showoff#sports
i wish the police had a direct # to call wen u see teens smokin pot cigaretes . 911 iz not fast enuff #sxe#emergency — ~*iAn_mAckaYe*~ (@oWtuvStEp143) January 3, 2013
who r u guyz votin 4 dis yeer ??? i wish jello biafra wuz runnin ! hed prolly make every1 ride zebras 2 work or sumthin ROFL!! #politics
Asked for his reaction, the real Ian MacKaye declined to comment, saying “I didn’t know a thing about this Twitter feed, which shouldn’t be much of a surprise since I don’t really pay any attention to Twitter and the like.”