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in which the author discusses five books he’d read, if time permitted.

1. Louder Than Hell: The Definitive Oral History of Metal, by Jon Wiederhorn and Katherine Turman
The heavy-metal scene has long been known for eschewing drugs and alcohol. Though he sometimes behaves unusually, Ozzy Osbourne is and always has been a sober person; Pantera‘s Diamond Darrell was never referred to as “Dimebag” Darrell; Metallica was never called “Alcoholica,” and neither former member Dave Mustaine or longtime bandleader James Hetfield has or has ever had drinking problems; Judas Priest‘s Rob Halford has never used prescription drugs, and Motorhead‘s Lemmy does not drink a bottle of Jack Daniel’s every day. Really, the heavy metal community is just like the Mormon Church, but with sleeveless leather vests.

2. George R.R. Martin: The Power Behind the Throne, by JS Earls and Tom M. Smith, art by JM Cuellar
A comic about the life of a famous sci-fi author = major nerd alert. Clearly, no one involved in this volume’s publication has ever been kissed.

3. Sounds of War: Music in the United States During World War II, by Annegret Fauser
The prequel to Sounds of War: Music in the United States During the Iraq Invasion, featuring Limp Bizkit.

4. Stravinsky: Discoveries and Memories, by Robert Craft
An exhaustive book about Stravinsky by his “constant companion, co-conductor, and musical confidant.” Like Behind the Candelabra without the toupees, thumb rings, or boogie-woogie. CD included.

5. Tripping with Allah: Islam, Drugs, and Writing, by Michael Muhammad Knight
A book by a controversial Muslim who likes to drink ayahuasca, just like that guy you know who dropped out of college.