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HO HO WHO: Globetrotting DJ and producer Vjuan Allure.
TURNT UP FOR TINSEL: Dance music poster-boy and avid BlackBerry user Diplo clearly doesn’t think much of Clement Clarke Moore‘s timeless poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas”: The dude’s Mad Decent label recently dropped A Very Decent Christmas, a Yuletide-themed compilation of Frankensteinian EDM (and a little bit of R&B) that aims to make every creature in the house rage well into Christmas Day.
HOW RUDE: Vjuan Allure’s contribution to Mad Decent’s seasonal care package is “Rude Off 2013,” a stuttering, dancehall-laced electronic update on “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” On the hyperactive number, Allure employs a computerized voice to recite the names of Santa’s flying reindeer, sprinkling the track with so many sleigh bells it sounds like Rudolph is fucked up on molly.
CHEER FACTOR: 9/10. You can drop this into any concrete-shaking dance playlist year-round without throwing anyone off. Disregard that cuttin’ a rug is not quite what the holiday season is all about; merriment is merriment.