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HO HO WHO: K-Pop sensations Crayon Pop, YouTube-famous for their pro-fun single “Bar Bar Bar” (“I don’t want to stick at home nowww!”), adorbs helmets, and easy-to-replicate “straight five-cylinder dance.”
UP ON THE HOUSETOP: Click click click. Crayon Pop was calibrated for maximum Internet traffic, and the Internet is like, “Yay!” (Cops, too.) The five-piece made such a splash with “Bar Bar Bar” that “Lonely Christmas” sounds more expensively produced than the group’s first hit, indicating Increased Label Investment. (Those horns in the intro almost sound real!) Having now watched this video eight times, I get the craze. I totally get it. Kuh! Ray! On! Pop!
DOWN THROUGH THE CHIMNEY: So I guess “Lonely Christmas” was poo-pooed for allegedly swiping the intro music to an anime show. But 1) no one is asking Bobby McFerrin (or followers of Meher Baba, for that matter) how he feels about the song’s English-language chant, “You! You! Don’t worry, be happy!” and 2) WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS, GIVE ME MORE CRAYON POP.
CHEER FACTOR: Googolplex.