HO HO WHO: Sacramento and New York dance punx !!!, definitely not known for anything resembling Christmas music. I guess sooner or later, ex-punks just give in. “We’ve always wanted to write an Xmas song,” says singer Nic Offer on the single’s promo material, “but wanted it to be good enough and not just something like ‘It’s a disco Christmas’ or whatever.”
THE (CHRISTMAS) SWEATER SONG: This is a wistful—-even somewhat horny—-love song disguised as seasonal cheer. Turns out Offer harbors a nostalgic boner for a certain lady in holiday attire. “I’ve been ’round the world, seen all kinds of girls,” he sleazily proclaims, “and I’ve seen nothin’ better than you in that sweater.”
THAT’S THE WAY THE FRUITCAKE CRUMBLES: A mildly sardonic group like !!! doing a holiday song is surprising, but it’s surprising in the exact same way as when all your hard-drinkin’ scenester buddies decide to get married and have babies named Sebastian and Clementine.
CHEER FACTOR: 5/10. The song’s yule log-like video is on point, and the only perceptible negativity in this holiday jam is a faint sense of longing. But boners aren’t for Christmas.