The Metromaniacs is a play obscure enough to satisfy even the most alternative aesthetes. It’s based on La Métromanie, a 17th-century French comedy by Alexis Piron that, while considered a classic, has received very little attention in the English-speaking world until now. This version, translated and adapted by playwright David Ives, is the third in his series of updated French classics. The plot goes like this: Poet Damis becomes enamored with the writings of a mystery poet he comes to believe is his own daughter, Lucile. But in an Oldboy-tier surprise, it’s not Lucile’s work; it’s actually the poetry of a middle-aged man named Francalou, who wants to use the misdirection to distance Lucile from the son of his bitter rival. Read more >>> The play runs Feb. 3 to March 8 at the Lansburgh Theatre, 450 7th St. NW. $20–$100. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org. (Tim Regan)

EAT THIS

You no longer have to chase down one of the Captain Cookie & The Milk Man food trucks for a chocolate chip cookie. Owner Kirk Francis opened his first brick-and-mortar storefront location in Foggy Bottom last week. The cookies ($1.25 each) come in flavors like snickerdoodle, Nutella, peanut butter, ginger molasses, and more. Trickling Springs Creamery supplies a variety of milks. Read more about it and check out photos on Young & Hungry. Captain Cookie & The Milk Man, 2000 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. (202) 556-3396. captaincookiedc.com. (Jessica Sidman)

OH AND ALSO

Playwright Peter Oswald, whose translation of Frederick Schiller‘s Mary Stuart is currently running at the Folger, discusses his work and the intersection of drama and poetry with English poet Simon Armitage. 7:30 p.m. at 201 East Capitol St. SE. $15.

Eclectic rock musician Damian Jurado performs at Rock & Roll Hotel with opening act Midnight Detective. 8 p.m. at 1353 H St. NE. $15.

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater arrives at the Kennedy Center for a week of performances. Featured pieces include Christopher Wheeldon‘s “After the Rain Pas de Deux” and the company’s signature work, “Revelations.” 7 p.m. at 2700 F St. NW. $30–$125.

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