Do you have a plan to vote?
Let us tell you the information you need to register and cast a ballot in D.C.
HO HO WHO: Along with such gems as “Opera Man” and “Crazy Protractor Beard,” Adam Sandler brought “The Chanukah Song” to Saturday Night Live in the early ‘90s. In this now classic ode, our favorite Jew Englander strums his acoustic guitar and lists as many of Hollywood’s chosen people as he can without breaking his rhyme scheme. “Chanukah Song Part 2” (1999) and, you guessed it,“Chanukah Song Part 3” (2002) followed dutifully in part one’s tracks, filling the void that “Dreidel, Dreidel” left agape for years.
FOUR? PLEASE NO MORE: Sandler performed “Chanukah Song Part 4” at a Judd Apatow & Friends concert for the New York Comedy Festival last month. Sandler hits all the trending highs: “Princess Leia cuts the challah with Queen Elsa from Frozen.” And all the trending lows: “Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew.” While the gelt is fresh, Sandler’s tinfoil is crusty and reused. He does this every time. With part one, it was Tom Cruise’s agent and “the late Dinah Shore-ah.” With part two, it was “The Girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys.” It’s the same shtick to the same tune, and frankly, we’d be more interested in who isn’t Jewish in Hollywood.
WHERE’S THE HUMMUS?: Why can’t he write a Purim Polka or a Sukkot Samba? Maybe to avoid redundancy in the inevitable part five, Sandler can perform it as the Zohan and plop a dollop of hummus on each Jewish audience member.
CHEER FACTOR: 2/10. This is the same crap we’ve gotten from Sandler for the last 21 years. I’d recommend “Ode to My Car” over this piece of shit song any day.