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HO HO WHO: The self-styled “writer, musician, porn star, and troll” Sloover, who is probably not actually a porn star. It’s highly possible that you don’t know any of his previous projects, which include Captain Bigwheel, Buzzsawyer, and Elektro Moto-Men.
YINZER 4 LIFE: Sloover is based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and he claims to have recorded “Balls, Balls, Balls” and the rest of his newly released Xmas N’at album many years ago in a trailer park near Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Those facts do not matter. What matters: Sloover is originally from Pittsburgh, and in his Christmas songs you can hear that city’s “yinzer” accent resonate thickly in every syllable. “Tree” becomes “tchree,” and so on. (The album’s yinzer apotheosis is “Feliz Navidad N’at.”)
BALLS, HUNG: Like most of Xmas N’at, the pine-needle-coated “Balls, Balls, Balls” is barely competent, and as far as scrotal double-entendres go, it bounces clumsily through territory that AC/DC claimed elegantly decades ago. Nonetheless, “Balls, Balls, Balls” is an abrasively effective earworm, and in the realm of “Christmas balls” songs, it’s certainly better than this or this. (That’s as far as we’ll go in terms of research. You’re on your own now.)
CHEER FACTOR: 3/10. Cheer really isn’t the objective here, but “Balls, Balls, Balls” gets one point for each set of balls.