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Puff Pieces might be the most anxious band in D.C. Not just in its lyrics (which, with songs like “New Nazis” and “Psychological Test” sometimes read like paranoid musings), but in its particular style of dissonant post-punk, marked by drummer Amanda Huron‘s sparse, metronomic beats, guitarist (and former Washington City Paper contributor) Justin Moyer‘s angular squeals, and bassist/vocalist Mike Andre‘s alluringly rhythmic and repetitive bass lines.

But the band’s eccentric persona is perhaps best exemplified by the one-sheet promoting its debut full-length record, Bland in D.C., which drops March 25 on Lovitt Records:

As you read this press statement, some questions might arise in your mind.

“Who or what is Bland in D.C.?” you may wonder. “Could this title contain a trace of subtle self-abnegation, as if this band – composed of drummer Amanda Huron, guitarist Justin Moyer, and bassist/singer Mike Andre – is quietly indicting itself for crimes of blandness, committed in the American capital city of Washington, D.C.?”

“Perhaps their ire is directed outwards,” you think. “This title is a reference to the massive wave of gentrification, driven by the seemingly inexorable force of capitalism, which has flooded their city, thus rendering it into a swamp of stultifying blandness.”

“No. Their rationale is clear,” you conclude. “The title must be intended as an ‘homage’ to famed D.C. band Bad Brains, whose iconic song, ‘Banned in D.C.’ ignited a revolution in punk culture in the nation’s capital and beyond.”

“Given the deep D.C. roots of all band members — who have performed in such notable area bands as Caution Curves, Vertebrates, Supersystem, Antelope, and E.D. Sedgwick – it’s clear that, through the title, they intend to cast themselves as mere modern shrimps perched upon the shoulders of their gigantic (and benevolent) punk forebears.”

“Maybe all three views have merit,”

Or so you gently muse.

“I’ll lend my ear to hear their songs.

What do I have to lose?”

Short answer: Literally nothing. So listen to “Men and Women W/ Guns,” a new track off of Bland in D.C., below.