Via Wonkette: A GOP delegate to the Republican National Convention was drugged, undressed, and robbed while on a date with a mystery convention dream woman. Gabriel Schwartz—-a 29-year-old lawyer dressed as an early-90’s Los Angeles teen gang member as interpreted by Andrew Lloyd Webber—-gave this atrocious interview to LinkTV before some liberal heathen God smote him down in the form of a beautiful lady-thief. Writes Wonkette:

A wonderful lady picked him up at a bar, and she went to his hotel room, and she slipped him a mickey. When he woke up, his entire ridiculous jewel-encrusted ultra-tacky wardrobe was stolen — “$120,000 in money, jewelry and other belongings,” according to the Pioneer Press. Ha, it costs $120,000 to look like that? Who knew!

The St. Paul Pioneer-Press surveyed the damage:

Aside from the watch, ring, necklace, earrings and belt, Schwartz also reported a $1,000 purse or wallet, a $1,500 cell phone, $500 in cash and a couple of rings worth $50 had been taken.