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* Megan at Jezebel tells dudes “How Not to Get it On“:

Don’t pre-emptively tell me you have a small penis.

Don’t text me on a Tuesday night after midnight “I could totally eat ur puss now if u r interwssetted.” I’m not.

Don’t ask if it’s okay to fuck me up the ass because you don’t have condoms and are “scared” of getting me pregnant.

*Jill at Feministe adds her own dating don’ts:

Don’t tell me, on a first date, about the time you pooped your pants on the Jenny Jones Show when you were performing the commercial outro with your Rick James cover band. Don’t tell me that on a tenth date. Just keep that one to yourself.

* Protesters stage bed-in on steps of Capitol:

Kayne West’s “Gold Digger” blared from the steps in front of the Capitol Thursday as protesters dressed in bathrobes and slippers danced around a bed and threw money. Oil Change USA came to speak out against government’s “all too cozy relationship” with oil companies in the wake of the sex-and-drug scandal reported last week by the Interior Department inspector general. “Literally in bed with big oil” was the theme of this protest, noted with their prop of a man and woman laying in bed together, surrounded by money [via Examiner].

Catch up on the Minerals Management Service scandal here.

* Via Feministing: Bitch Magazine was going to have to fold, but now they’re not. You can still give them money, though.

* Brightest Young Things points you to Seattle’s bikini baristas:

Baristas in spike heels, lingerie, fish nets and other skin-revealing attire are attracting long lines—-and large tips. . . . When servers started wearing pasties at a shop called Espresso Gone Wild west of Seattle, however, some residents decided the caffeinated provocateurs had taken it too far. [via NPR]

* Aaaand, drum roll: Fish swims into penis.