My father, a Barack Obama supporter, compares the final presidential debate to the last quarter of a sports game: Now that his candidate appears on the verge of victory, all he can do is watch on as he horribly squanders it all at the last minute. So this final debate drinking game is for those Obamasupporters knocking furiously on wood, crossing their fingers, and still wearing their unwashed “Barack Obama Is My Homeboy” T-shirt from last year. It’s also for those John McCain supporters holding out for an improbable Cinderella story win, wherein McCain feigns a pitch to catch Obama stealing a base, then Palin comes in to sack Joe Biden while McCain fakes left and swishes the half-court shot at the buzzer for the T.K.O. Drink!

The game kicks off tonight at 9 p.m. EST at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. I’ll be live-blogging the debate on the City Paper website starting then.


– Obama says “that’s not change, that’s more of the same”
. . . adds in “yes we can” for good measure [x2]
– Obama says “John McCain is right . . .”
– Obama calls McCain by wrong name
. . . or calls Michelle by wrong name [x2]
– Obama appears to have recently received botox injection
. . . plus collagen [x2]
– Obama trips
– Obama unable to name Supreme Court case
– Obama swears [finish your drink]
– Obama admits he is, in fact, Muslim [finish two drinks]
– Obama admits he is, in fact, domestic terrorist [finish all drinks, everywhere]


McCain refers to self as “maverick”
– McCain accuses Obama of lying
– McCain mentions Sarah Palin
– McCain mentions Bill Ayers
– McCain himself makes sports metaphor
. . . McCain makes any nonsensical metaphor [x2]
McCain smiles without creeping you out
– McCain laughs without creeping you out [x2]
McCain emerges as pro-choice [finish your drink]
– McCain appears to regard wife Cindy with love and mutual respect [finish two drinks]
– McCain removes mask to reveal he is, in fact, Barack Obama [drink all brain matter exploded onto television set]

Photo by Latente.