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You may have noticed that your neighborhood young person is a sarcastic, dismissive little bitch who appears to care about nothing except things she doesn’t actually like, such as bad beer and vinyl Chicago albums. Hey, it’s our culture. But we’re not totally immune to brazen optimism, and sometimes, as when the multicultural superhero presidential band-waggon comes a-knockin’, we’ll let it in.

Stephen Colbert made a joke during the presidential conventions about hipsters voting for McCain in the pursuit of irony. The Ironic Vote has found ways to mediate its support of the Yes We Candidate with some sarcasm, though: In the face of hope, it puns, it memes, it purchases.

But what does the pseudo-ironic vote do if it loses? How will it express its anger, frustration, and disappointment on Election Day if John McCain becomes president-elect? Does he loot an ironic t-shirt shop? Descend into an all-consuming spiral of McCain LOLcatting? Attempt to masturbate to Hustler’s hastily produced Sarah Palin porn?

A recent conversation with a sarcastic young person yielded one possibility:

Sarcastic Young Person: if mccain wins, i’m burning my flag
Me: your flag towel?
Sarcastic Young Person: no, the flag i have in my room
Me: how about your american flag shorts
Sarcastic Young Person: sure, burn it all
Sarcastic Young Person: why not
Sarcastic Young Person: sigh
Sarcastic Young Person: i’m going home to drink now

Photo by icrontic.com