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Welcome back to another edition of Five Minutes* You’ll Never Get Back, City Paper‘s sex and politics podcast. This week, City Lights Editor Mike Riggs and I discuss the pros and cons of cinema’s most recent abstinence-only vegetarian tween vampire phenomenon, Twilight. (Our usual cohort, Intern Bobby,gets a pass this week).

Topics discussed: Jane Austen, morality, ballet studio, Pootie Tang, Edward Cullen, Zac Ephron unlike Edward Cullen, Mike Riggs unlike Edward Cullen, feasts of flesh

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* okay, ten minutes.