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Well, folks, it’s been a long, hard trudge up Man Mountain in this, the first-ever Manliest Workplace in D.C. Competition. Mannishness was shunned! Femininity was ignored! And now,we’ve finally whittled our 64-workplace bracket down to eight crowned Captains of Industry who are proud to call themselves Men. Behold, the Emasculating Eight!

MEDIA: The Washington Times (52 points)
Washington Redskins, the Smithsonian (TIE, 38 points)
Fenty’s Cabinet (47 points)
Jones Day(88 percent manliness, or 48 points)
United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, International Brotherhood of Teamsters (A TRIUMVIRATE OF TIED PERFECT SCORES)
Georgetown University (54 points)ADVOCACY: Citizens United (PERFECTION)

For those filling out their brackets at home, those stats leave us with a final Fleshy Four of conservative moonie news source The Washington Times, obscure U.S. representative body the Senate, a whole bunch of unionized dudes, and bald eagle / Ronald Reagan advocacy group Citizens United. Who shall be victor (hint: not the Times!)? That depends on how each Fleshy Four candidate performs in the Sexist‘s Manly FEATS OF STRENGTH (arbitrary decidey-things)!

On Monday, I’ll announce the tie-breakers between our five perfectly manly workplaces, and reveal the winner of our stay-at-home bracket-fill-out contest!