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Own a vagina? In need of a sandwich and consult with published pick-up artist? Understand the next sentence? Pues, hoy es tu día afortunado (or something)!

Expert of game Roosh V seeks the help of a lucky local lady to help him practice his Spanish. “No, this is not a scheme to get laid,” he clarifies. “I won’t ask for a picture.”

Why, then, does Roosh require a lady tutor? “I prefer a female speaker because when I travel again that’s who I’ll mostly be talking to (in bars, clubs, coffee shops, etc.),” he writes.

Females also preferred because they can work for slave rations and/or unsolicited advice. “I figure we can meet in a coffee shop somewhere in DC. In exchange I can buy you whatever drink and food you want,” he writes. “I can also lend a sympathetic ear and help you solve your problems in life, if you want.”

Photo by J.P. Esperanca