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Your inauguration hook-up will never be as sexy as this artist’s rendering.

In this batch of inaugural-obsessed Craigslisters, we find strange terminology and catty put-downs employed in the pursuit of the historic hook-up. Let’s try to decipher today’s postings, shall we?

* This 56-year-old, who is “in town for the most incredible event of my lifetime,” is surfing Craigslist for “a woman to spend some time with during inauguration week.” He has “no tickets yet,” but is “working on it,” whatever that means. More puzzling, however, are the man’s stats: he describes himself as “SJM, 6′, 195, fit, left of center.” Who would cap a list of physical descriptors with the term “left of center”? Is this reference political, social, or, uh, more intimate? One lucky lady could find out!

* This 49-year-old “in town for the inauguration” [posting deleted by its author] is looking for a woman who is “5’4″ or better.” Wait—-does “better” mean taller or shorter than 5’4″? All I know is that at 5 feet 4 inches, my height is at the outer limit of accessibility for desperate Craigslist daters. Score one for me!

* Somebody claiming to hail from “Dreamland” [posting has been flagged for removal] is none too pleased with this 44-year-old Dupont man seeking a “youthful, intelligent, energetic, interesting, skinny” male date for the inauguration. “I guess it was just a matter of time before some guys would whore out the Obama inauguration for sex,” writes a poster in response. “Just didn’t think it would happen so quickly. This is pathetic and SAD. This posting has been forwarded to Senator Reid’s office.”

* In turn, this 31-year-old poster is none too pleased with the critical poster from “Dreamland.” “So you are mad because someone wants a date for the inauguration?” writes the poster, whose diatribe has, in turn, been flagged for removal. “What’s wrong with that? did you send it to Senator Reid’s office in case he needs a date? You are lame and stupid. Go back to your lonely bitter corner and stay there LOSER!”

Photo by BL1961