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Face it, you’d rather be here anyway.

* Finally! Spring chicken seeks date for inaugural ball. This 21-year-old man (boy, really!) will be in-town for the inauguration, and seeks “a girl around my age to go with.”

* This inauguration ticket-seeker is offering up something a little more interesting than fine conversation and nice legs: Superbowl tickets. If you want to score two tickets to the Superbowl, prepare to cough up “4 seated tickets to the swearing-in ceremony, 8 preferred standing tickets to the swearing in (NW/SW/West/North or South only), 12 bleacher seats to the parade, 4 tickets to any of the PIC Balls held at the DC Convention Center.” And this poster ain’t playin’. “We are not interested in Mall Standing tickets,” he writes.

* Easy “Beach Ball” joke! This 31-year-old “San Diego California” resident seeks a woman who “would love to show a beach kid around town.” Oh, and he has tickets to two balls.

* This 42-year-old Floridian has a list of demands for women interested in accompanying him to history. “I have been invited to The Inauguration of Barack Obama in Washington DC on Jan. 20 and a staff party on Jan. 21,” he writes. “This person must: Hopefully knows the Washington DC area, or knows/has a place to stay during the Inaugural week. Is a democrat/liberal and believes in the causes of Obama. . . . Need responses in the next 2 days.

* This 45-year-old local claims to have a “good head attached at the shoulders, just not visible in this picture.” (The photo, from the neck down, recalls a Rufus Humphrey type). The District resident’s interests are similarly benign: “drinks after work, interesting ethnic restairants, showing someone the tourist sights, and just hanging out over coffee.”

Photo by Paul Keleher.