There’s still time to nominate local icons for Best of D.C.
An ovary for a ball: Fair trade, no? A 27-year-old Cleveland lawyer and Barack Obama enthusiast thinks so. On Tuesday, Lisa F. posted a Craigslist ad offering her ovary—-and that of a friend—-in exchange for two tickets to an inaugural ball. “We’ve exhausted all my legitimate means of finding a ticket by begging our campaign staffer friends, so we thought we would try this,” says Lisa. “Also, neither of us are currently using an ovary.”
The ovaries, which range in age from 26 to 27 years, come with no strings attached. “Today, you can get an ovary from two separate, progressively minded women who are willing to part with their internal organs for a chance to wear a party dress in the same room as President Elect Obama,” Lisa wrote in a posting under Craigslist’s “for sale” section. “These women . . . will not require an explanation of your purpose. Do you wish to procreate? Use them for science? Macabre hackey sack?”
Despite their flexibility, Lisa and her friend have yet to reign in a ticketholder willing to swap ball access for female reproductive organs (still producing ovum). Lisa has, however, found one ticket-holder interested in her other lady-parts. “The first reply I got, probably about a half-hour after posting, said, ‘I’ve got two tickets if you want to sleep with me,'” says Lisa, who adds that she’s willing to weather all possible dates, regardless of “gender, IQ, physical appearance, or social awkwardness,” save one caveat: the invitation may not include “quid pro quo sexual harassment.”
Lisa says the post has yielded a few other responses—-one Michigan man looking to sell his tickets for money, and a couple Craigslisters who couldn’t help Lisa, but wrote to tell her she was “funny.” At this point, Lisa is just happy to keep the offer out there. “I’m a little surprised the post hasn’t been flagged for removal, seeing as it’s illegal to sell your organs,” she says.
Whether or not they find their way into a ball, Lisa say’s they’re intent on driving down to the District and standing on the sidelines of history, ovaries intact. “In the political realm, this is probably one of the most exciting things that’s happened to me in my entire life,” says Lisa. The ovary offer, however, will still stand. “I’m prone to melodrama, so I might have said I’d give up my ovary for a couple other things, too—-meeting Harrison Ford, for example.”
Photo by Darrow Montgomery.