Sign up for our free newsletter

Free D.C. news, delivered to your inbox daily.

[youtube:v=8mVEGfH4s5g] If they liked her, they should have let Beyonce put a ring on it.

Super hard, the Associated Press reports. Though the line-up for this Sunday’s Obama inaugural concert at the Lincoln Memorial includes some of the nation’s hottest performers, the notoriously lame “American spirit” promises to dampen each mammoth recording artist’s luster. According to the AP, “artists won’t be performing their big hits, but will be asked to perform material appropriate to the occasion.”

Beyonce! U2! Bruce Springsteen! John Mellencamp! Usher! Stevie Wonder! Shakira! Sheryl Crow! Josh Groban! James Taylor! All stars whose performances will be rendered lame by the American “standards” they will all be forced to perform in honor of Barack Obama. Only John Mellencamp, Sheryl Crow, and Josh Groban will be spared, by virtue of being already pretty lame.*

“The list of stars is impressive,” said executive producer George Stevens Jr., who is nevertheless bent on ruining all of them. “[T]his is not a show biz, glitzy occasion. It’s going to be rooted in history, remembering the great president (Lincoln) who led us through difficult times.”

Ugh, just tell it like it is: No “Single Ladies.”

*possibly also James Taylor.