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Oh, hey, slow news day.

* Now, homos, Mormons, baby-killing women, porno freaks, Jesus mockers, and drunks have “sports nuts” to contend with for eternal damnation (above).

* Now, get out of my city please.

* Now, I get to not hear Rick Warren talk about anything for a very long time, perhaps ever.

* Now, there’s only one day left until Oscar nominations!

* Also, now, only one day left until thousands more people come ruin our city, again, this time to protest abortion.

* Now, all the strangers in my group house who have been using my hot water and arguing about Israel or some shit need to leave, now. It’s 9 in the morning!

Photo by Amy Austin