“Dating a Banker Anonymous,” a self-help blog for women whose relationships have gone sour with the economic downturn, states in its introduction that it is a “safe place” that is “free from the scrutiny of feminists.” Of course, once you’ve been featured in the New York Times—-sad, beautiful group photo and all—-you’re no longer free from scrutiny from anybody. And so, as a feminist given to scrutiny, I saw the line as an invitation to net some quick and dirty blog content.
The feminist line comes as a half-serious inward jab—-like the lamentation at a halved “monthly Bergdorf’s allowance,” it is a joke that reveals a deeper worry. And yet, as I paged through the blog’s entries, I had a hard time pinning down a feminist critique of the project. The blog seems to serve two functions for the DABAs stuck in middling relationships with FBF’s (Financial-Guy Boyfriends):
a) commiserating with other women about shared relationship problems
b) complaining about the slow erosion of luxury from one’s life
The first function—-women helping women—-won’t find a detractor here. The second, while annoying, is less a gender equity issue than a class one. Sure, a spoiled girlfriend who whines that she can no longer dine nightly at Manhattan’s finest restauraunts is an obnoxious narrator to guide us through this recession. But don’t claim it’s the “feminists” who are bringing you down, girlfriend. Instead of a “safe place” that is “free from the scrutiny of feminists,” the blog could more correctly situate itself as a priveledged place, free from the scrutiny of the poor.