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Dear Riskay (pictured):


I bet you thought you were quite clever when you asked your significant other if you could smell his genitals in order to determine if he had had sex with another woman, then detailed your investigations in your 2008 single, “Smell Yo Dick”:

“Why you comin’ home / Five in the morn’ / Somethin’s goin’ on / Can I smell your dick? / Don’t play me like a fool / ‘Cuz that ain’t cool / So whatchu gotta do / Is let me smell your dick.”

While I appreciate your honesty, you’re really not doing yourself any favors here by:

a) straight up asking your man to smell his dick, and
b) broadcasting this request to the Internet community.

Riskay indeed. However, your transparency in this matter has created an opportunity for me—-a stranger to you, and, I assure you, your man’s dick—-to offer my unsolicited advice.

Honey, maybe he’s playing you like a fool because you are one. You cannot straight up ask a man to smell his dick, are you crazy? You sound like an amateur, and it’s embarrassing. I’m willing to bet that your man gives you ample opportunity to smell his dick discretely. Take them.

On the other hand, your missed dick-smelling opportunity is the shock-R&B-enthusiast’s gain. We really needed another single to latch on to after we got tired of this guy.